Winning a Trophy But No one Claps
I am writing this as I am intensely sad. Normally, I would use my phone, scroll through reels, watch something, or pleasure myself in various ways.
However, recently, I am going through changes in my life, which has led me to eliminate unneccesary distractions from my life. I stopped watching Youtube videos, using social media, and so many things. This seems good and productive when you are working on something or are busy. But, when I am free, I basically have nothing to do.
That's when I feel lonely. And this loneliness is so sharp that it hits various spots. Let's visualize why we feel lonely. It's because our life is full of meaningless connections. The duality of loneliness is such that most of us are not isolated from the society. We've an active social life, where we meet 100s of people and have 1000s of interactions on a day to day basis. However, you're not able to share anything with them. You just talk for the sake of getting things done and have shallow interactions. There are certain factors, such as common goal, common identity, competition, that are holding us together. Once these factors become irrelevant, the connections follows suit. When you are finished with your job, that's when your connection ends.
When I was in high school, I knew 1000s of people there, classmates, football buddies, swimmming buddies, bus buddies, seniors, juniors, girlfriends, crushes. However, once it ended, I didn't see 99% any of these people ever again. All of that connections were only good till the last day. After that nothing lasted and nothing remains.
Sometimes some of us manage to still make friends who are really valuable to us. They mean more than just connection to you, they're part of who we are, they're the ones that we love. These are the people that get us through our tough times, people that we can share our vulneralabilities with. As living creatures, life hits us with responsibilities, where we've to get things done, where we've to succeed.This is when, we prioritize our work more than our friends, families, and loved ones. If your friend is following same path as yours, maybe your bonding would go stronger. However, if let's say your goal is to be a software engineer and your friend wants to be a doctor. You'll not have anything in common with him/her. As both of you prioritize your career more than your friendship, you start talking less and less, and you connections weakens. Despite loving them, you just have to let them go.
It is totally fair and allows you to have more time to yourself to improve work on yourself. You'll grow smarter, stronger, and powerful, you'll get ahead in life, you're climbing that ladder. But, what you are failing to see as you climb is that you're all alone. You're lonely. At some point you'll realize that.
With this level of determination, you'll succeed at some point, but you'll have no one to celebrate, no one to chest bump, no one to hug as you left behind everyone who loved you. The people that you talk to on daily basis wouldn't give a rat's ass about you winning, more likely, they'll be jealous and would want to tackle you to the ground. This is when things get interesting.
Dialing back, the primary intent for you to go through so much pain, suffering, and sacrifice in the first place is that you thought achieving something would make you happy. But, now when you've finally achieved it you feel desolate and depressed. Nonetheless, you achieved it by sacrificing the connections with people who would truly be happy to see you succeed. Such a wicked world right?
We think that we need our loved ones when things gets tough to help us, support us through our misery. But, we need them equally if not more when we are winning. Imagine Winning a trophy but no Claps for you. How miserable you would feel? I went through all of that hell for this? you would say.
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Note: If you haven't won a Trophy chill. Just put in the work, and also try to avoid loneliness by making true meaningful connections. I have feel so sad that I can't even cry. The intesity of my sadness grew so strong that my eyes are like we don't have enough tears for it.
However, recently, I am going through changes in my life, which has led me to eliminate unneccesary distractions from my life. I stopped watching Youtube videos, using social media, and so many things. This seems good and productive when you are working on something or are busy. But, when I am free, I basically have nothing to do.
That's when I feel lonely. And this loneliness is so sharp that it hits various spots. Let's visualize why we feel lonely. It's because our life is full of meaningless connections. The duality of loneliness is such that most of us are not isolated from the society. We've an active social life, where we meet 100s of people and have 1000s of interactions on a day to day basis. However, you're not able to share anything with them. You just talk for the sake of getting things done and have shallow interactions. There are certain factors, such as common goal, common identity, competition, that are holding us together. Once these factors become irrelevant, the connections follows suit. When you are finished with your job, that's when your connection ends.
When I was in high school, I knew 1000s of people there, classmates, football buddies, swimmming buddies, bus buddies, seniors, juniors, girlfriends, crushes. However, once it ended, I didn't see 99% any of these people ever again. All of that connections were only good till the last day. After that nothing lasted and nothing remains.
Sometimes some of us manage to still make friends who are really valuable to us. They mean more than just connection to you, they're part of who we are, they're the ones that we love. These are the people that get us through our tough times, people that we can share our vulneralabilities with. As living creatures, life hits us with responsibilities, where we've to get things done, where we've to succeed.This is when, we prioritize our work more than our friends, families, and loved ones. If your friend is following same path as yours, maybe your bonding would go stronger. However, if let's say your goal is to be a software engineer and your friend wants to be a doctor. You'll not have anything in common with him/her. As both of you prioritize your career more than your friendship, you start talking less and less, and you connections weakens. Despite loving them, you just have to let them go.
It is totally fair and allows you to have more time to yourself to improve work on yourself. You'll grow smarter, stronger, and powerful, you'll get ahead in life, you're climbing that ladder. But, what you are failing to see as you climb is that you're all alone. You're lonely. At some point you'll realize that.
With this level of determination, you'll succeed at some point, but you'll have no one to celebrate, no one to chest bump, no one to hug as you left behind everyone who loved you. The people that you talk to on daily basis wouldn't give a rat's ass about you winning, more likely, they'll be jealous and would want to tackle you to the ground. This is when things get interesting.
Dialing back, the primary intent for you to go through so much pain, suffering, and sacrifice in the first place is that you thought achieving something would make you happy. But, now when you've finally achieved it you feel desolate and depressed. Nonetheless, you achieved it by sacrificing the connections with people who would truly be happy to see you succeed. Such a wicked world right?
We think that we need our loved ones when things gets tough to help us, support us through our misery. But, we need them equally if not more when we are winning. Imagine Winning a trophy but no Claps for you. How miserable you would feel? I went through all of that hell for this? you would say.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: If you haven't won a Trophy chill. Just put in the work, and also try to avoid loneliness by making true meaningful connections. I have feel so sad that I can't even cry. The intesity of my sadness grew so strong that my eyes are like we don't have enough tears for it.
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